


a matter of circumstance

by rudderless in an ocean of stars (indelibly_ellie)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, Feels, Prompt Fic, Prompt Fill, Red String of Fate, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-06
Packaged: 2020-11-23 13:37:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20892986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/indelibly_ellie/pseuds/rudderless%20in%20an%20ocean%20of%20stars
Summary: Astra In-Ze follows the red string around her wrist across galaxies.ORThe General Danvers Soulmate!AU nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story of soulmates, told in five parts. Follows a list of 50 one word prompts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again. :)

01\. hidden

Even though she knows that no one else can see it, Astra wears long sleeves to keep the crimson string around her wrist hidden.

No one else on Krypton has one, not even Alura. She knows this because she has _asked_, and the memory of her twin’s wide-eyed confusion and worry at her words still makes her feel sick even now, days later.

They are identical in every other way except this, and it unsettles Astra like nothing else does. So she wears long sleeves and tries not to notice any little flashes of red in the periphery of her vision when she moves.

02\. flowers

She is eleven when tries to follow it, just to see where it might take her.

After leading her out of the house and into the gardens, the cord simply begins to stretch up into the sky and hopelessly out of reach.

_Please Rao_, she thinks, staring up at the distant red sun with pleading eyes. _What is the point of tying this silly string around my wrist if I can’t even see where it ends?_

If the Sun God has answers, He doesn’t see fit to share them with her.

After a moment, Astra lowers her gaze to glare down towards the ivory flowers bursting into bloom near her feet. She kicks at the soil with the tip of her shoe before turning back towards the house and stomping off to look for her data orb.

If Rao won’t give her an answer, she’ll find one herself.

It’s not until she’s halfway to the rooms she shares with Alura that she remembers to pull down her sleeve.

03\. joy

When Alura tells her that she is going to be an aunt, Astra feels practically incandescent with joy.

“Jor-El and I have approval from the Council to implant our DNA into the Birthing Matrix as soon as we like,” Alura continues, beaming. “We want you to be there with us when our child is ready to be born.”

“Rao himself would not be able to keep me away on that blessed day,” Astra vows, reaching out to drag her sister into a fierce embrace.

Astra herself has never considered petitioning for a child- her commitment to the Military Guild supersedes any glimmer of maternal desire she might feel- but Alura? Alura has been dreaming of this enough for the both of them.

The right to use the Matrix Orb is a privilege on Krypton, one that is granted sparingly to the population. Astra and Alura’s birth was a happy accident for their House, but their shared existence had been an accident nonetheless.

The first and only set of twins born in generations since the complete implementation of the Matrix.

They were widely considered to be a gift granted by Rao to an already-prestigious family. Yet another blessing upon the honored House of Ze.

But sometimes, Astra can’t help but wonder if the red string around her wrist is proof that she is cursed.

That between the both of them, Alura is the child who was meant to born.

And that Astra was never supposed to exist.

04\. lock

When she rises to the position of General, Astra decides to make a change.

_It’s time_, she thinks, _for something to be different._

For there to be a distinction between her and her sister that goes beyond the robes they wear for the guilds they belong to and the lives they have chosen to lead. For something to truly set them apart from one another. For something that goes beyond the red string that only Astra can see.

She goes out into the city within hours of the celebration the Military Guild hosts in honor of her newly elevated rank and stumbles into the nearest modification shop, a heady mixture of Thanagarian alcohol and determination swirling through her veins.

When she catches sight of the pure white streak in the mirror the next morning and actually _remembers_ asking to have a single lock of her hair permanently stripped of all color, she doesn’t know whether to laugh or to cry.

In the end she does both, but even as tears roll down her cheeks, Astra finds herself smiling.

05\. wound

Astra almost bleeds out once, on the barren ground of a desert planet.

Medical officers get to her in time to keep the hole in her side from killing her, but the damage is severe enough to leave her superiors ground her on Krypton for an entire _month_. The boredom, at times, makes Astra almost wish they’d just let her die right there on the scorched earth.

She says as much to her sister from her sickbed, bemoaning the fact that even with access to the best medics on the planet, she is stuck on bed rest for the considerable future.

“Two weeks trapped in this bed!” Astra would turn to bury her face in the pillows piled around her if the motion didn’t risk disturbing the healing wound in her side. She settles for groaning dramatically at the ceiling of the room. “Death would have been a greater relief.”

“Astra!” Her sister’s hologram glares down at her, a mixture of shock and exasperation written across her features. “Rao help us all, you shouldn’t say such things. It’s a miracle you survived!”

“Aluraaaaa,” Astra sing-songs back, rolling her eyes. “I’m well-aware of that fact.”

“If you had died,” Alura continues in a huff, ignoring her sister’s words entirely, “You would have left your future niece without an aunt and me without a sister! Is that what you want?”

“No, ‘Lura, of course not. It was said in jest. I’m just tired of being stuck in this bed.” She tries to look suitably repentant. “Forgive me?”

Alura’s irritation melts away in an instant. Of the pair of them, Alura has always had a softer, more understanding heart. The combination of her easy empathy and brilliant mind has made her one of the district’s most favored adjudicators. She wouldn’t be surprised to see Alura rise to the position of Councilor in the Lawmaker’s Guild within a few years. Meanwhile Astra’s ability to hold a grudge has managed to earn her quite a bit of infamy in certain circles.

“Well it just so happens that I am making a batch of your favorite stew today,” Alura replies, smiling. “And if you promise to stop being so dour, I might be persuaded to bring you some.”

Astra smiles back.

As much as she struggles with being the shadow to her sister’s light, loving Alura has always been as easy as breathing.

06\. promise

Astra has never been one to scare easily, but catching sight of a red string around her baby niece’s wrist makes her heart nearly stutter to a stop in her chest.

“Sister?” Zor-El places a steadying hand on Astra’s elbow and she resists the urge to shrug it off and flee the room. “Are you well?”

There is nothing to be solved by running away, so she forces herself to relax. It takes considerably more time and effort than it should to convince her lungs to let her breathe normally again.

“Of course.” She gestures to the sleeping baby cradled in Alura’s arms and feigns a look of apprehension. “I just didn’t expect her to be quite so small!”

Her brother-in-law bursts out laughing, and just as quickly quiets down when his wife shoots him a stern look.

“Only you, Astra, would be more fearful in the face of a tiny babe than a battlefield,” he says in a stage-whisper.

She grabs hold of the unwittingly offered excuse with both hands.

“In my defense, I was trained for that. Holding babies? Not so much.”

Alura steps closer, and Astra works hard to keep her gaze from drifting back down to the newborn’s wrist.

“Here,” she says, holding the swaddled infant out towards Astra. “It’s easy, you’ll see.”

And, surprisingly, it is.

“Have you decided on a name?” Astra trails a finger down the cheek of the still-sleeping baby now being held securely against her chest with her free hand. “I can’t very well keep calling her ‘little one’ as she grows.”

“Kara,” Alura replies, stepping back to kiss her husband’s cheek. Zor-El wraps an arm around Alura’s waist in response and pulls her close, eyes lighting up the same way they did when the pair first met. Even then, Astra knew he would make a good match for her sister. “Her name is Kara.”

Astra looks back at her niece, unable to resist the smile tugging at corners of her lips.

“Hello, little one,” she whispers, heart beating triple-time in her chest. “Hello, Kara.”

Right then and there, she makes a promise, a silent vow to herself and her niece.

_By Rao’s light, I will find out the purpose of these crimson strings._

07\. mind

Krypton is dying.

The planet’s core is unstable and decaying and had Astra not been in the archives that night, looking into the history of Krypton in the hopes of uncovering the origins of the red string around her wrist, she never would have found out until it was too late to change anything. The mystery of the strings can wait until her world is no longer about to implode.

She takes her research to her guild, then to the Council, but her words fall upon deaf ears.

No matter where she goes or who she tells, nobody listens.

“You are a great soldier, General In-Ze, but you are not a scientist,” Councilor Syra-Vex tells her. “Leave matters of the mind to the Science Guild.”

Astra only narrowly manages to resist the urge to slap the condescending smile off of the other woman’s face. She leaves the meeting as quickly as decorum allows, a plan beginning to take shape in the back of her brain.

Wrong as they were to dismiss her claims, Syra-Vex and the Council were right about one thing- Astra In-Ze _is_ a great soldier. No one in the ranks of the Sagitari has managed to rise so far so fast in generations.

And if Astra cannot save her world with words, then she will have to do it by force.

08\. ash

Astra fails.

Krypton burns.

Astra watches an entire world collapse from her cell in Fort Rozz and feels her heart turn to ash along with it.

09\. delirious

She spends twenty-four years delirious with grief in the frozen void of the Phantom Zone, until the impossible happens and-

The ship _moves_.

Time starts.

And Astra lays on the floor of her cell and wishes someone would steer the whole prison into the red sun of her dead planet.

She doesn’t get her wish, but she does get the chance to save a new world the way she should have saved Krypton.

Under the light of a yellow sun, Astra finds that she is practically invincible. If Rao has seen fit to chain her to life instead of letting her die, she can at least make sure she lives for a purpose.

10\. binds

The strings are everywhere on Earth.

Some are red, like hers, long and trailing. Some are grey and cut, hanging from a person’s wrist like something lifeless.

And some are short, stretching a slight distance between two people, crimson turning to gold whenever they touch.

Astra doesn’t quite know exactly what the strings mean yet, but every time she watches two people sharing a string interact in a way that makes it glow gold, she thinks she learns a little more.

The one thing she does know for sure is that all of strings are still invisible to everyone but her.

So Astra keeps watching the humans, fidgeting with the cord wrapped around her own wrist that no longer pulls up and away from her but leads off somewhere to the side. Even if it still did drift off into the sky, Astra can fly now. She could follow the string to the other end. To the person who shares it with her.

She could meet them and touch them and watch the tie that binds them burn the most brilliant shade of gold.

Astra could do all of these things, but she doesn’t, because she <strike>doesn’t deserve it</strike> has a world to save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a review, hug a Kryptonian. :D
> 
> Word prompts from this chapter: hidden, flowers, joy, lock, wound, promise, mind, ash, delirious, binds


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter ended up being way longer than I planned.
> 
> Enjoy the ride! :)

11\. pale

_It’s vital_, Astra knows, _to learn about one’s enemy before engaging with them._

She’s here to save their planet, but regardless of her intentions, she knows she’ll be facing just as much resistance here as she did on Krypton.

So Astra starts visiting the city, observing the humans and their habits as much as she can.

One afternoon, she decides to wander into one of the human food establishments, and manages to order a drink, pay for it, and find a seat along a long counter without garnering odd looks from anyone. Astra allows herself a smile at that, even as her gaze drifts down to her wrist. She toys with the cord encircling her wrist. It’s tangible enough for her to touch, but any attempt to pull it off makes it slide through her fingers like smoke.

“That must be distracting.”

Astra turns to look at the person sitting next to her with wide eyes. The speaker- and Astra gives her a quick once-over to confirm that she’s human- is a woman, gaze unmistakably focused on the string around Astra’s wrist.

Everything about her is pale, from her hair to her skin to her eyes. She’d almost resemble Kara if her hair wasn’t so light and her eyes were blue instead of gray. She looks about Kara’s age too, and even seems to favor the same soft pastels that make up much of her niece’s wardrobe. The only things about her that don’t contribute to making her look even more washed out than she already appears are her nails, painted a violent shade of purple, and her bright red lipstick.

Astra has no idea what to say, but that’s okay, because the other woman simply barrels on. She’s either utterly oblivious to Astra’s rising panic or ignoring it entirely.

“Do you see them all the time?”

Astra narrows her eyes. “Do you?”

“I used to. Now I see them when I want to.” She starts tapping her nails along the wooden counter, and Astra follows the motion with her eyes. It’s hard not to, especially given their vivid color. “Would you like to learn?”

Astra can only nod, briefly stunned into silence at the thought of being able to actually tune out the sight of all the strings.

She’d never learned on Krypton, never even known she could try. Why bother when the only string she’d seen until Kara’s birth had been her own?

Sometimes she’d been able to ignore it, but pretending not to see the little flickers of red at the edges of her vision was a far cry from not having to see the cord at all.

Here on Earth the strings are everywhere. It’s been hard enough to adjust to having enhanced senses, let alone the sight of so many strings.

“Yes, but... Why would you do this? We are strangers to each other.” Astra frowns down at her hands. “I don’t even know your name.”

“It’s Willa, and I’m offering because I know how overwhelming it can be to see them all the time.”

“Thank you,” she says, then she holds out her hand in a gesture she’s observed other humans make when coming to an agreement. “My name is Astra.”

Willa eyes Astra’s outstretched hand for a few seconds before taking it with a quiet laugh.

“You’re weird. I like it.” Willa smiles, and just like that, Astra finds herself feeling just a little less lonely than before.

Now she knows that she isn’t alone in seeing the strings, and with Willa’s help, Astra will be able to learn how to stop seeing them all the time.

They stay at the shop until it closes, and Astra leaves knowing the basics about how to block out the strings.

_Humans are strange_, she decides, looking down at her left wrist. It appears bare for the first time in as long as she can remember.

_Humans are strange, but there are those who are as kind as others are cruel._

12\. icy

The Hellgrammite kidnaps a human.

A flicker of irritation pulses through her veins when she reaches the abandoned warehouse and finds the space smelling of fresh blood. She’d asked for him to find bait, but she hadn’t asked him to _hurt_ whichever delicate earthling he’d chosen to take captive.

She dismisses him back to base before heading inside to meet the DEO agent he’d grabbed and so callously left damaged.

“You’re bleeding.” Astra hasn’t been able to bleed or age for over a decade now. She laces her words with condescension, but privately, she’s more than a little bit jealous of humanity’s mortality. “Human beings are so fragile. It’s amazing any of you make it out of infancy.”

“Alura.” Her sister’s name slips from the other woman’s lips and Astra falters.

She has almost forgotten what it feels like to be a twin. How it feels to be mistaken for Alura. The rush of satisfaction and glee that came with every game they played in their youth, tricking their parents and teachers and friends with their perfectly identical looks. Grief and longing form a maelstrom in the hollow of her chest and Astra finds herself glad that the human is behind her and cannot see her face while struggles to gather herself again.

“How do you know that name?” She snaps, turning back to face the black-clad agent on the floor.

“I saw a hologram of you,” the other woman pants out, every other breath hitching in her throat from the considerable pain she must be in. “A message from Krypton. It was in the ship that brought your daughter to Earth.”

Even with her injuries, the human keeps trying to move. It is an exercise in futility but it is brave nonetheless and if there is anything Astra can admire in a fellow soldier it is bravery.

“Twins were rare on Krypton. When we were children, Alura and I took great pleasure in confusing our parents.”

Astra corrects the human’s assumption because it would only hurt more to let it continue, and she has had enough of pain.

“You’re Alura’s sister.” The human recovers quickly, but not quickly to hide her surprise at the revelation.

“I am General Astra.” She bares her teeth in a twisted approximation of Alura’s sweeter, softer smile. “And what is your name?”

The human clenches her jaw and lowers her gaze to the floor. It is exactly the same kind of stubborn response Astra would have given if she were the captured soldier being interrogated by an enemy. She tries and fails to keep a note of genuine pride from slipping into her tone when she speaks again.

“You are very brave. Braver than most of your race.”

“There’s no reason to kill me,” she replies, but the look in her eyes is hard, like she’s already bracing herself for the grave. The human may be willing to try and reason with her captor, but she won’t lower herself to begging. It’s interesting, and Astra has not found anything to be worth her interest in a long, long time. “Or anyone in National City.”

“Is that what you think? That my goal is simply to kill humans?” Astra shifts into a crouch with graceful ease of a predator stalking its prey. “You are so very wrong. I am here to save you all.”

“Supergirl _will_ find me,” the human grits out, and there is a conviction to her words that makes Astra wonder just how well her niece may know the woman in front of her. There is a difference between having blind faith in a distant hero and the absolute certainty of belief that the fragile earthling seems to possess when it comes to Kara Zor-El.

“I know.” Astra straightens up with an icy smile playing at her lips. “I look forward to seeing her.”

13\. glass

Kara arrives, just as the human said she would.

For all the abilities Astra knows her niece must possess, the girl appears entirely oblivious to her presence. It’s downright careless of her to come charging in without paying any attention to her surroundings, but that’s exactly the sort of inattentiveness Astra is counting on. Unlike Astra, Kara is untrained and untested in the finer points of waging war.

“Alex-“ Kara breathes out what must be the human’s name with a desperate kind of relief, rushing across the room.

“No, get out of here, it’s a trap!” The human- no, _Alex_\- tries to shout out her warning but she’s too weak to do little more than raise her voice.

Astra takes it as her cue to announce herself and speeds forward to push her niece across the room.

“It’s been a long time, little one.” Astra moves to stand in the pale light streaming in from the broken windows. “Look how you’ve grown. So beautiful.”

“You... You died.” Kara stumbles a little as she gets to her feet, eyes fixed firmly on Astra. Like the other woman might disappear if she looks away for even a second. “When Krypton exploded. Everyone died. You _died_! I- Aunt Astra-“

Astra takes another step closer, cutting off Kara’s stammering attempts to speak.

“Except I wasn’t on Krypton when it perished- I was a prisoner aboard Fort Rozz. Did your mother not tell you?” Try as she might, Astra cannot bring herself to give voice to her twin’s name. She has to force her next words from her throat. “How she sent me away? Banished her own blood? Imprisoned me for seeking the truth while she let herself believe nothing but lies?”

“Why did she send you to a Fort Rozz?” Kara seems to wilt at the thought of it, of her mother sentencing her aunt to the Phantom Zone.

“Because I tried to save our world.”

Kara’s voice drops to just above a whisper. Her fingers clutch at the edges of her cape like she needs something to hold onto in order to stay upright.

“I remember so many nights sitting on your lap, listening as you taught me all the names of the stars.” Blue eyes glitter with the shine of fresh tears.

“Then let me educate you once again, dear niece.” Astra can’t help herself- she reaches out to brush a hand along Kara’s curls. “Your alliance with the humans is misplaced. Do not stand against me. I let one planet die, I will not do so again.”

“Funny.” The shattered look in Kara’s eyes turns into something hard and unyielding. “I was going to say the same thing.”

Watching Kara reassemble herself is like watching glass break backwards, entropy in reverse.

Astra allows regret to settle around her shoulders a shroud, then she shoves her niece through a wall.

“I’m sorry, little one.” She spares a glance towards the other woman on the floor. Alex meets her gaze steadily and with more than a little bewilderment gleaming in her eyes. “I did not mean for your friend to get hurt, and I regret causing you any pain. But I cannot let you stop me. I will not fail this world.”

Before Kara can recover from the shock of the blow, Astra takes her leave and flies away.

14\. blade

Sleep does not come easily to Astra, not on Earth.

As a child, she’d fallen asleep to the steady sound of her sister breathing in the bed next to her own.

As a cadet, she’d slept well in the barracks, thoroughly exhausted by the grueling training regimen the Sagitari employed with great effect.

As a soldier, she’d count the stars through the window of her room on her unit’s battleship until sleep claimed her.

But here on Earth she is none of those things. No longer is she a sister, a student, or a soldier with trusted comrades at her back.

Astra leads the former inmates of Fort Rozz by force; they follow her because she is the strongest of them all. She is deadly by discipline, if not by nature, a double-edged blade honed to a vicious, killing edge. If she were to be anything less than the ruthless General they expect her to be, they would turn on her in an instant.

Sleep does not come easily to Astra, not anymore.

15\. cold

Astra goes back to the coffee shop.

She knows the chances of running into Willa again there are probably slim, but Astra also doesn’t want to risk getting caught flying around the city on the off chance catching the sound of the girl’s voice.

Astra orders a drink at random, claims a corner table, and settles in to wait.

The sun is just beginning to set when Willa finally walks in. She spots Astra almost immediately, and waves a hand in greeting before stepping into line. After a few minutes, Willa makes her way over to Astra’s table, drink in hand.

“Mind if I join you?” Willa doesn’t even wait for an affirmative before plopping down on the empty seat across the table from Astra.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Astra says, glancing down for a moment to look at her bare wrist. It’s almost easy now, to control the sight of the the strings, and she’s grateful.

“You too.” Willa smiles, cheeks dimpling prettily as she shrugs off her coat.

Astra smiles back and for a moment, she lets herself imagine she’s on Krypton again, enjoying a simple outing with a friend.

“So,” Willa continues, “I have to tell you something. Actually, it might be easier to show you.”

Willa reaches out to place a hand around Astra’s mug, and when she pulls away, the coffee that had gone cold hours ago is steaming again.

Astra doesn’t even try not to gape.

“You... You aren’t human.” How could she have missed this? Years of training to be an elite operative, and she couldn’t even tell that Willa wasn’t human when she’d checked her over before? Astra resists the sudden urge to drop her head into her hands and groan. She really has been living on Earth for too long.

“No, I am. I promise,” Willa replies, laughing a little at Astra’s reaction. The beat of her heart doesn’t waver in the slightest. “I just have a little extra... Spark. It’s why I can see the strings.”

“Is that why I can see them too?”

“I don’t know, actually. I haven’t met many aliens.”

This time, Astra allows her disgruntlement to show freely as Willa leans back in her seat with a self-satisfied grin.

“So you know what I am.”

Willa rolls her eyes and laughs again.

“I’ve seen your face on the news, Astra.”

“Then why come back here?” Do all humans lack basic self-preservation instincts? Is that why so many of them seem to enjoy walking into potentially dangerous situations? “Why sit with me?”

Astra needs to do more research on Earth’s inhabitants. A lot more.

“First, because Maxwell Lord is an asshole so I don’t really mind you taking him and his company down a notch or two. And second? Because you don’t really seem like a murderous super-villain to me.” Willa pauses to take a sip of her drink, shaking her head as she sets the mug back down. “Trust me, I’m from Gotham, I should _know_.”

Astra has heard stories about that place, but now? Now she really wants to know what kind of hell is going on in Gotham City that it turns out the kind of people who don’t even flinch at the thought of going out to meet a potentially homicidal alien for drinks.

16\. dark

Astra loses the fight.

She means to do it, again taking advantage of the fact that she knows Kara is untrained and inexperienced, and yet-

There is a moment.

There is a moment when Kara has her flat on her back, poised to deliver a killing blow.

Astra knows her niece is not yet ready to take a life; her plan hinges on the girl of steel’s famous moral compass. She watches Kara stop and realize that she’s not only considering the possibility of using deadly force against an enemy, but her own aunt. She watches Kara’s face crumple as she lowers her fist and stands.

It is in that moment that Astra finds herself wishing, as she often does, that Rao had simply let her die on Krypton where she belonged.

Then in a sudden flash of movement, Kara strikes her hard enough to send her mind spiraling into the dark.

17\. remember

Astra closes her fingers over the spy beacon when Kara enters the room.

“I’m glad you’re here.” Astra stands, clenching her fist until the edges of the beacon dig into the palm of her hand hard enough to hurt.

“I’m glad you’re back in a cell,” Kara spits back, eyes flashing. “You have two minutes.”

Astra steps forward to press the spy beacon against the glass, and Kara freezes in place at the sight of it.

“You still have it.”

Astra nods, and pulls the beacon away from the wall.

“When I went on the run, I took this with me. I would hold it in my hand to remind myself of why I was turning my back on my family, and betraying the High Council.” She runs her thumb across the intricate designs etched into the beacon; it is a gesture she has repeated enough times over the years to become instinct. “It would all be worth it if you survived.”

“Oh, because you cared about me?” Kara crosses her arms, scowling. “Did you care about the people you and your fanatic followers killed?”

“We did what we had to do. If your mother had just _listened_ to me-“

Kara cuts her off with a yell, all pretense of stoicism thoroughly shattered.

“My mother was the best woman who ever lived!”

Astra closes her eyes and thinks back to the times when she used to share Kara’s view on Alura. When she and her sister were two halves of the same whole, forever aligned. Two people inextricably linked to each other, a pair of celestial bodies sharing a single orbit.

Now Alura is dead along with the rest of Krypton, and Astra is still reeling from the blow, knocked off course and spinning hopelessly out of anyone’s reach.

“Tell that to those of us who were thrown into that nightmare prison.”

“I think you went crazy in Fort Rozz,” Kara hisses out through clenched teeth, hands balling into fists at her sides. “I think you stared into miles of pitch-black space until everything good inside of you died.”

_But we were both trapped there_, Astra thinks, _in that lifeless, timeless place. What could the Phantom Zone do to me that it could not have done to you?_

She nearly says it too, but the words die somewhere between her heart and her throat and she is glad. From the broken look in Kara’s eyes, Astra knows she doesn’t need to say anything at all.

Then Kara starts to leave, and Astra blurts out the one thing she never wanted to admit just to keep her in the room.

“You’re how she caught me.” Astra tries and fails to hold back her tears as the memories she’s spent so long pushing down finally come rushing back to the surface. “That day in your room... Was it your idea to message me with the spy beacon, or was it hers?”

Kara turns back to face the cell, devastation written across her features. It is a victory, but it is a hollow one. Astra has never felt quite so heartsick about winning.

“Do you remember what I said to you the last time we saw each other on Krypton?”

_I would do **anything** to save us, to save you, Kara._

Kara stays silent, but in the way her lower lip begins to tremble and her eyes grow glassy with tears, Astra finds her answer.

_I couldn’t love a daughter more than if Rao had granted me a child of my own._

Astra presses her empty hand flat against the barrier between them. It is as close as she can get to her niece and it is nowhere near close enough.

“I meant every word, little one, and I still do.”

Kara rushes out of the room, shoulders shaking with barely suppressed sobs.

This time, Astra doesn’t try to stop her.

She’s caused enough damage to the remains of her family today.

18\. poison

“Get her out of here,” General Lane orders, and for once, Astra finds herself in agreement with the man standing before her.

“Take her,” Astra begs, looking only at Alex, unable to bear the sight of her niece on her knees in front of Lane. She cannot bring herself to watch as Kara pleads for them to stop and reconsider.

She has known men like him before, is intimately familiar with the behavior of those who are cruel for cruelty’s sake while pretending to be kind.

“Go!” Astra is no stranger to torture but she will not let Kara learn this particular lesson in suffering today. “Now!”

Even as the syringe begins to pump its poison into her veins, Astra bites her tongue to keep herself from crying out until Alex manages to drag Kara from the room.

Then she gives herself over to the hands of an all too familiar agony and _screams_.

When the edges of her vision begin to grow dim, Astra welcomes the shadows and falls into oblivion without a fight.

19\. tremble

“-stra.”

There is a hand on Astra’s shoulder. Someone is trying to shake her awake and drag her back to the uncomfortable reality of being imprisoned. Likely to begin yet another round of torture.

She groans weakly in response and tries to move away but the other person’s grip on her shoulder remains firm.

“Astra, come on. Wake up.”

_Rao, can they not just let her die already?_

There is still kryptonite in her system; she can feel it coursing through veins with every weakened beat of her heart. Another injection of the toxin will likely kill her. Maybe she should just wake up and get it over with.

Astra tries to open her eyes.

“Oh, thank God. Kara probably would’ve killed General Lane if you didn’t wake up.”

The blurry figure of her niece’s favorite agent swims into view, along with a glimmer of gold at the edges of her vision. The sight of it is enough to startle Astra back to full, panicked consciousness.

She drags herself away from Alex so fast that the other woman can’t keep her grip on Astra’s shoulder. As soon as her fingers slide away, the glow of gold fades to crimson.

Astra doesn’t stop moving backwards until she slams bodily into the glass of her cell. It only brings her closer to the kryptonite emitters, but nothing can make her feel sicker than the sight of the crimson string stretching between her and the DEO agent.

Alex’s eyes go wide at the sight of Astra’s mad scramble across the floor of the room.

“Whoa, I’m not here to hurt you,” she says, raising her hands in a placating gesture. It does nothing to soothe Astra’s growing anxiety; the motion makes the red cord around her wrist even more visible than before.

The red string around _both_ of their wrists.

Astra would have seen it before had she not been blocking out her sight of the strings. She would’ve seen it and-

Rao help her, Astra would have run, fled, abandoned her entire mission in National City just to get _away_.

And now she can’t, because the person on the other end of her string is one of her captors.

“Astra?” Alex takes a single step closer, hands still raised. “It’s me. I’m not here to hurt you. I’m just here to make sure you’re not hurt too badly.”

Astra chokes out a strangled laugh. She clenches her hands into fists in an effort to hide how they tremble.

“What does it matter to you?”

“I’m the resident expert on Kryptonian physiology.” Alex pauses for a moment, then continues with her chin held high, “Because Kara is my sister, and I’ve spent my whole life learning how to keep her safe.”

It takes Astra several moments to process Alex’s words.

“Your sister?”

“My family took her in when she landed here. We grew up together.” Alex takes the opportunity to sidle closer, and Astra is too stunned to try and move away again.

“But Kal-El-“

Alex scoffs and rolls her eyes.

“Kal-El felt like he couldn’t handle raising a teenage girl.” She kneels down, close enough now for Astra catch the scent of her jasmine perfume. “Now are you going to let me give you a checkup or not?”

“Will you tell me your name?”

“You already know my name.” She presses two fingers against the pulse point on the side of Astra’s neck, brow furrowed in concentration.

Astra tries to ignore the sight of their string turning gold.

“I know what Kara calls you, and I know my niece is prone to using nicknames.”

“It’s Alexandra.” She reaches into her pocket with the hand not taking Astra’s pulse to pull out a small penlight “My name is Alexandra Danvers.”

Alexandra moves her hand from Astra’s neck to her cheek, holding her still as she shines the little flashlight into her eyes.

“Alexandra,” Astra echoes, blinking several times to clear her vision once Alex switches off the flashlight. It suits her. “Thank you for taking care of Kara.”

The hand still resting against Astra’s cheek twitches a little just before she pulls it away, like she’s caught Alex by surprise with her words and the agent doesn’t know how she should react.

“You’re welcome,” she says after a beat, tucking the penlight back into her pocket. “Are you feeling dizzy? Nauseated?”

Astra shrugs, dropping her gaze down to the floor.

“Hey, come on, don’t do that to me now. What happened to being grateful?”

“I am grateful. You should go back to Kara, tell her I’m alive.”

“She won’t let herself relax unless she knows you aren’t in pain anymore either.” A muscle twitches in Alex’s jaw. “I got her out, but once her powers kicked in again, she could hear you screaming. She hasn’t stopped crying since.”

Astra’s breath catches in her throat.

“Tell her I’m fine.”

“Are you really?” Alex stares her down with narrowed eyes.

“Will you give this to her?” Astra holds out half of the spy beacon. To her credit, Alex takes the offered device without hesitation.

“Of course.”

Astra lets her eyes slide shut and leans back against the wall, nodding slightly. It is a vulnerable position to put herself in, but she knows Alexandra wouldn’t hurt her, not here. Not like this.

“Then I really will be fine.”

20\. honor

Astra is not surprised when her soldiers attempt to execute an ambush at the exchange. In all honesty, she would have been more surprised had they not attempted to do anything underhanded.

When it comes to integrity on the battlefield, Astra is alone in her beliefs among the former prisoners of Fort Rozz. They are every bit as merciless as she has had to pretend to be in order to lead them.

She calls them to a halt before a fight can break out in earnest.

Astra does not believe in many things anymore, but she still believes in honor, and the soldiers obey her command.

She doesn’t let herself look back as they help her rise into the sky, not at her niece and certainly _not_ at her soulmate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The S-word has been dropped! How are we feeling, folks?
> 
> And yeah, I changed some of the scenes from the episodes. Sue me for not wanting Astra to get stabbed by Kara’s surrogate father figure. Or not wanting to write an extended scene of Astra beating up her own niece, and so on and so forth. I tagged canon divergence anyways, so... :D
> 
> Also Astra was never married here, just in case anyone was wondering. *bangs gavel* nEXT
> 
> Willa is sweet. I loved writing Willa. But if you’re worried, let me assure you that her relationship with Astra is and always will be platonic. I just wanted Astra to be able form attachments on Earth that aren’t exclusively with the SuperSquad, and I wanted to someone to teach her about the strings. Or, at least, how the strings function in this little fic.
> 
> Anyways, you know the drill!
> 
> Leave a review, show a Kryptonian some love. <3
> 
> Word prompts from this chapter: pale, icy, glass, blade, cold, dark, remember, poison, tremble, honor


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up until 3 AM writing this.
> 
> Sleep? Never heard of her. :)

21\. control

Astra leaves the base almost as soon as she returns to it.

Staying at Fort Rozz while waiting for the last of the liquid kryptonite in her bloodstream to dissipate would be a mistake. The longer Astra lets them see her in a weakened state, the more they’ll begin to doubt her control as their leader. In her current condition, any one of the other Kryptonians could stand an actual chance at taking her down in a fight.

She makes her way back to National City, glad for the speedy return of her flight.

22\. nightfall

_This is a bad idea_, Astra thinks, eyeing the red string around her wrist.

She moves to follow it anyway, making her way through the crowded streets as unobtrusively as possible. Aside from a few human males and the occasional female, no one spares a glance in her direction. Even after her face had been all over the news from her fight with Supergirl, Astra is apparently unrecognizable when she isn’t wearing her battle suit or trading blows with the city’s resident superhero.

Her current outfit is comfortable, at the very least- black jeans and an oversized sweater the color of the sea. It’s an ensemble Astra had copied right out of one of the many advertisements around the city. A careful braid hides the identifying streak of white running through her hair.

It doesn’t take her long to reach the building Alexandra must live in, nor does it take her much effort to slip into the alley beside it and fly up to the roof.

Astra lets herself lays there, feeling stronger by the minute as light of the midday sun sinks into her skin.

She stays until nightfall, eyes following the crimson line of her string leading to the edge of the roof before it drops downwards and out of sight.

23\. complicated

The next time Astra meets Willa for drinks, they sit without speaking for the better part of an hour.

It’s an amicable sort of silence, the kind that stretches out between people who have reached a point where they can simple enjoy being in one another’s company without feeling any sort of pressure to fill the space between them with words. It’s the kind of silence Astra likes best, mostly because it is the complete opposite of the Phantom Zone’s soundless stillness.

Back when Fort Rozz was still a prison instead of her army’s base, Astra would spend hours and hours doing exactly what Kara had said- staring out into miles of pitch-black space. Whether or not there was anything good left inside her at that point to wither and die, however, is disputable at best.

As if she’s somehow managed to sense the dark turn Astra’s thoughts have taken, Willa breaks the careful silence with a wave of her hand. The motion is enough to jar Astra out of her daze and back into the present. A question pours out of her before she can think better of it.

“What if the person on the other end of your string was on the opposite side of a war?” As soon as Astra says it, she wants to take it back. But it’s too late to do anything other than let the words hang in the air like a cluster of those horrible balloons that humans seem to love releasing into the sky.

Willa takes the sudden turn of events in stride. “I’d find a way to end the war.”

“What if the cost of winning is too high?”

The look that Willa levels at her manages to be so piercing that, for the first time, Astra thinks the other woman actually seems inhuman.

“I didn’t tell you to win a war, Astra,” she replies, tracing a finger along the rim of her glass. Something about the motion is almost unnaturally hypnotic. “I said find a way to _end_ it.”

Frost blooms outwards from Willa’s touch until even the dregs of her drink are frozen. She doesn’t even seem to notice until Astra tilts her chin towards the iced-over glass.

Willa blinks, like someone snapping out of a trance, and pulls her hand away.

“Sorry,” she says, a rosy blush starting to spread across her cheeks.

Astra waves off the apology and and tries for a reassuring smile.

“Don’t be.”

“I just... I don’t usually lose control like that.” Willa’s fingers twitch towards her wrist, and Astra recognizes the motion without having to look for any strings. “The strings are complicated. Soulmates are complicated. You have to decide what this war is really worth. You say the cost is high... Are you honestly prepared to pay it?”

A lifetime ago, Astra wouldn’t have stopped to think about her answer. But now?

“I’m not sure of anything,” Astra admits. The confession leaves her feeling lighter, somehow. “Not anymore.”

24\. habit

Finding Kara’s apartment is purely accidental.

Astra’s made something of a habit of the few hours a day that she spends on the roof of Alexandra’s building. She typically goes in the evenings, when she knows the other woman will be at home. It’s not like Astra’s spying or anything- she’s never even so much as peered into the windows of the apartment.

But when the red string around her wrist leads Astra to another building one evening, it’s not hard to figure out who lives there. Especially not when she spots Kara walking down the street, heading straight for the lobby door.

In that moment, Astra has never been more grateful for the city’s well-placed side alleys.

25\. inevitable

Astra finds Alexandra waiting on the roof on a Wednesday.

Getting caught was inevitable, she knows, but it doesn’t stop her from hovering in the air for a full minute before the urge to simply soar away subsides. Alex waits for her to land before speaking.

“My neighbor’s kid said he saw a flying lady in the alley head for the roof,” she says, smirking. “Kara doesn’t bother with the alley or the roof. She usually flies straight in through my window.”

“Where is my niece?”

“Still at work. I haven’t told her yet.” Alexandra looks her up and down, and Astra barely resists the urge to fidget. “Civilian clothes. Nice touch.”

“I don’t wear the suit all the time,” Astra replies, trying not to sound petulant. “I know how to blend in.”

“The braid’s nice too, but I gotta say I like you better with your hair down.”

Astra feels a low heat start to build in her cheeks. Rao, is this really what they’re going to talk about? She needs to change the subject before her face burns as bright red as Kara’s does; conspicuous blushing runs in the family and Astra is _not_ ready for anyone to know that.

“Why haven’t you asked me anything yet?”

“I was going to wait until you didn’t look like you were two seconds away from flying off, but fine- why have you been coming to my building?”

Astra fumbles for a reason, any excuse to give instead of the truth. Her brain goes blank.

“I like the sun.” And okay, Astra is supremely, epically screwed because her brain has now gone completely offline. “Here, I mean. I like the sun here.”

So much for being the best orator of her and Alura’s class back on Krypton.

“Uh huh.” Alexandra tries and fails to pass off her laughter as a cough as Astra resists the urge to slap herself in the face. “The sun.”

“If it bothers you-“

Alex cuts her off with a shake of her head, expression growing serious once more. “It doesn’t, and since you haven’t actually entered my apartment or had me kidnapped again or anything, it’s fine.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I don’t take my work home with me anyway.” Alexandra grins, and Astra tries to look like the sight of it _hasn’t_ knocked the breath from her lungs. “You can stay and sunbathe or whatever. I just wanted you to know that I know.”

“Consider me duly informed.”

“And here,” Alex pulls something small out of her pocket and steps forward. “In case you get bored.”

Astra takes the offered object without even looking at it. When she drops her gaze down to find a little book in her hands, she smiles.

26\. vow

One of Astra’s soldiers intercepts her on her flight back to base.

She follows them through the sky warily, all the way to a secluded spot on the outskirts of the city.

“General.” Yana Xi-Em greets Astra as soon as they land with the deference her title commands, placing a fist over her heart as she bows her head to a superior officer.

Of all of the Kryptonians under Astra’s command, she is the only one to have been a member of the Military Guild before being imprisoned. Yana is also the youngest of Fort Rozz’s former inmates and, disturbingly enough, she’d already been serving her sentence for nearly a full year before Astra arrived.

The only reason Astra hasn’t previously checked the Xi-Em girl’s records is because they were among the many files lost due to the damage the ship sustained when it crashed. But from what little information she’s managed to gather, Yana Xi-Em committed her crime merely six months after graduating to the rank of full officer in the Sagitari.

“You wanted to speak to me?”

“I want you to know that my loyalty to you is absolute.”

In a flash, Astra has a hand around Yana’s throat. Yana doesn’t react in the slightest, appearing unsettlingly calm for someone a closed fist away from having her windpipe crushed.

“It should be,” Astra hisses, firmly ignoring the little twinge of guilt that sparks to life in her chest. Even though Astra knows full well that Yana is a soldier who has seen and dealt in death like all members of the Sagitari, she is still so very young. It would be a waste to end her life here and now, and Astra hopes it doesn’t have to come to that. “So why feel the need to tell me?”

“Because I know you don’t trust us, not really. And why should you? Only the worst criminals were sentenced to Fort Rozz.”

Astra tightens her grip on Yana’s throat in warning.

“You aren’t giving me much of a reason to let you go.”

Yana blinks up at her calmly, then-

“I was sentenced to Fort Rozz for killing Commander Non-Ur.”

It’s enough to stun Astra into dropping her hand. She’d met the man in person a few times at guild functions, but they were never close; they had been acquaintances in the barest sense of the word.

“His death was listed as a training accident,” Astra replies, but even as the words leave her lips, she finds herself starting to doubt the official report. She is far from ignorant of the workings of military bureaucracy- a story of a mid-rank soldier dying in a field exercise gone wrong would be preferable to letting news of a commander being murdered by a subordinate spread.

Yana’s next words confirm Astra’s developing theory.

“A training accident sounded better than getting murdered by the top-ranking student of the newest class of graduates.”

“Why kill him?”

“Why not?” The girl’s green eyes brighten, lit up from within by a slow, smoldering rage. It is the first sign of real emotion Yana has ever shown for as long as Astra can remember. “He deserved it.”

Something heavy settles in the pit of Astra’s stomach as she considers the possibilities.

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. He targeted my friend. Cyla Jevis. She wasn’t from one of the Great Houses like you and I.” Yana speaks as quietly as she always does, but with no trace of her usual serenity. It is as if every word is being ripped from her throat. “She had no family, no status, and no one to protect her but me.”

“Why are you telling me all of this now?”

<<ka͡ɪpɑð tov gʌloɣo kriʝʲu wə tov dovroʃo dolju>> _The brightest aspirations can make the darkest shadows._

“I’m familiar with the expression.” Astra switches to their native tongue with narrowed eyes. <<ʒi ʃe ʒæ>> _Get to the point._

“The others follow you because they want to be conquerors, and that’s what Myriad promises them. I have followed you because I know your intentions for this planet are good.” Yana’s usual aura of utter calm reasserts itself, features smoothing out into a blank, inscrutable mask once more. “If you should change your mind about how you choose to achieve those goals, know that you will have my allegiance.”

Before Astra can even think about a response, Yana drops to her knees and tilts her head to expose the column of her neck.

“Under Rao’s rays, I pledge myself to you. The currency of my life is yours to spend as you see fit. Only if I am called to return to His light and sit by His hearth will I leave your side in this world.”

It doesn’t sound the same in English, but the meaning carries over well enough that Astra recognizes the ancient vow of loyalty for what it is. For Yana to use it, to kneel at Astra’s feet, to bare her throat in an ultimate sign of submission... A pledge like this is sacred.

She pauses to think about the best way to translate the expected response. After a moment, she figures out her reply.

“You honor me with your dedication to serve. For all the days of my life I will lead you, and when Rao calls us home we will sit side by side in His holy light.”

Astra places her right hand on the side of Yana’s throat and guides the girl to her feet before letting her arm drop back down to her side.

They stand in silence for several minutes afterwards, both of them blinking back tears.

27\. dream

The book Alexandra gives her is a small collection of poems by Pablo Neruda, every one of which is printed in its original Spanish as well as English.

After some research, and a trip to one of the local libraries, Astra learns that the man is dead now, but that he managed to write many other poems, among other things, before his death.

Of the poems in Astra’s little pocketbook, ‘The Stolen Branch’ becomes her favorite. She finds herself dreaming of Neruda’s words, dreaming of gated gardens and trees with branches full of stars.

Astra dreams of her family’s gardens back on Krypton, of white flowers and a red string around her wrist that stretches up into the sky.

In her dream, she can fly, and she follows the string all the way to the other end.

28\. sunshine

Astra follows the string all the way to a woman who smells like jasmine and has a smile like sunshine.

29\. betrayed

By the time Astra wakes up to realize that she is not alone in her room, that the others have betrayed her, it is already far too late.

The creature that leaps out of the shadows has the element of surprise and an agility that surpasses even a Kryptonian’s speed.

She is unconscious again before her body even begins to fall to the floor.

30\. missing

Astra wakes up to the sight of an achingly familiar city skyline, gleaming bright against a red sky. The shock of it makes her bolt upright in her bed, hands clutching at the sheets.

_This is wrong_, she thinks. _I am not supposed to be here._

“Where else should you be?” It is her voice that speaks, but- _not_.

Had she spoken her thoughts aloud? A frisson of alarm skitters down the length of her spine. Astra turns away from the window to see her sister standing in an open doorway.

“A-Alura?” An ache is starting to build behind her eyes. Astra tries to focus but her thoughts start slipping through her fingers like so many grains of sand. “Where am I?”

“Argo City, of course.” Alura steps further into the room, frowning. “Do you not recognize the sight of your own dwelling?”

“No, of course I can. I do. It’s just-“ Astra cuts herself off with a shake of her head. Of course she knows what her own bedroom looks like.

Astra had handpicked all of the furnishings herself, from the bookshelf in the corner to the pale blue sheets tangled around her legs. She remembers commissioning Nyla Ja-Ur of the Artisan’s Guild to make the shelf, recalls stumbling across the masterfully woven bedsheets in one of Kandor City’s many public markets.

But it feels like she has forgotten something else, something important.

Something essential.

Her gaze drifts down to her hands, sitting idle and empty in her lap. Both of her wrists are bare.

_This isn’t right_, whispers a little voice in the back of her brain. The fingers of her right hand twitch towards her left wrist. _There’s something missing._

“Astra?”

She looks up to see Alura standing by her bed, forehead creased with concern.

“You’ve had us worried for days. You worked yourself into such a state of exhaustion that you just about collapsed after your last meeting with the High Council.” Alura reaches out to cup her face with both hands, thumbs brushing lightly over Astra’s cheeks. “But you did it, dear one. They listened.”

Astra lets her hands drop back into her lap, her previous train of thought already starting to disappear.

“What do you mean?” 

“Your research, your findings- the Council saw it all. You’ve been working on a plan to stabilize Krypton’s core with members of the Science Guild for weeks. Don’t you remember? You presented it at the Assembly just yesterday with Jor-El and his brother, and the Council approved.” Alura smiles down at her so brightly that it makes her heart feel full to bursting. “You saved us all.”

Astra smiles back.

It’s as easy as breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... How we feeling, folks?
> 
> Some notes about this chapter:
> 
> All Kryptonese was found on this lovely website: http://kryptonian.info/
> 
> Willa is a sweet smol bean. Yana Xi-Em is my sweet summer child who deserves only love and good things. 
> 
> Yeah, Non is dead. Stone dead. It was satisfying to write.
> 
> Astra in civilian clothes! Alex being an alien magnet and rolling with it! Pablo Neruda! Yay. :)
> 
> Now, about the last bit... Before you raise your pitchforks, please remember that you need me alive to post the last two parts of this story. Other than that I have no defense.
> 
> Leave a review... cuddle a Kryptonian?
> 
> Word prompts from this chapter: control, nightfall, complicated, habit, inevitable, vow, dream, sunshine, betrayed, missing


End file.
